December 2020 News

 I'm not sure how but this 1st really snuck up on me. Oh, it's the 2nd. Maybe because of all the chaos in the world right now? Anyway,

Writing

So here's an update. As you know, I've written the monk story and the barbarian story (leaving only the conclusive war story) and had every intention of releasing them both at once, giving the reader the chance and unique experience to read them in either order. What a fantastically outlandish concept! Among readers there would be a 'Team Ausgan' and a 'Team Fohrvylda' by the time WAR dropped and one would wear chitin plate armor and sing songs of lightning and shun metal and the other would earn battle names and slam beer and sing of the Heathen Tide! Then they'd all fight to the death! I don't know what side I'd choose!!

But in reality

When a reader finishes one of the books and is left curious about the fate of Basalt Kale or Irdessa the Undying, they'd be snubbed to learn that they now have to read another story (however brilliant) about entirely separate characters before continuing their tale. Therefore, I'm thinking of smooshing V & V together to make V&V. It'll be 250,000 words and be book 1 of 2. 

When's it drop?

2021.

I'll see you then.

dtl

November 2020 News

I'm going to have to catalogue the recent music, games, books, films I've experienced and come back to discuss them later.

~

Tuesday, October 27th Jason Amani Tasi left this world for the next. 

I'm going to miss him but not near as much as his wife and their children will. I hate that we can't continue all the projects we had in mind but in the grand scheme, none of those really compare to what he already accomplished with his family and his legacy. 

Thank you for helping me and my family memorialize and honor our daughter over the years. If you had it your way, you'd never have charged us a dime. Thank you for helping bring Silexare to life. Thank you for being a model of acceptance and love for everyone who crossed your path. I'm going to try to be more like you. I promise we'll do everything we can to make sure your family is taken care of in your absence.

On that note, follow this link to his fundraiser and consider helping this family out in any way you can, even if it's only to share. 

If you want to see the big man's creative take on some characters and races from Silexare, follow this link to his page on the Compendium. 

The world is less without you. Until next time brother. 

October 2020 News

 Here comes a brief one!

Writing

Edits are progressing! I'm not going off counting words and listing stats right now but yeah!

Gaming

Hades, on Steam! It's cool! I love rogue-likes, permadeaths, unique runs! And yes, I'm absolutely taking notes for Schala!

Watching

Not the debates! I value my optimism! Can't you see all the exclmalmtalntion points!?!

Reading

I just finished Dune and I give it 4/5 stars! I love when an old scifi book predicts the future and examines human nature! Head-hopping 3rd person omniscient is a style I'll never use, but will always appreciate when done well!

Next Month

I'll have more time to invest here!

see you then!

dtl

September 2020 News

Fall is coming and I couldn't be happier. My season-preferences shift sometimes. There are phases. Usually summer is my favorite. Right now I'm hellafied sick of hot hot muggy rainy garbage. I'm ready for it to chill out and dry off. There are several outside projects in stasis around my house that I just can't find the energy for. You have to chug a litre of water to make up for the sweat lost by just opening the front door. Sick of it I tell ya. 

Writing

Quick rundown on the state of V&V:

Ausgan - Complete at ~120,000 words. Edited (only by me so far). Currently in the hands of beta readers. 95% ready to pitch to a publisher.

Fohrvylda - Complete at  ~154,000 words. Editing now (on scene 10 of 31).

Redemier - (book 3) Mostly outlined, with certain scenes drafted. A collection of about 30,000 words at the moment.

Looking forward to

Getting these books out of my lap. There's more work to do once they're finished, and yes I still need to write book 3, but I'm just going to feel better about life when they're done. I look forward to getting at her majesty Schala. You remember her. The dyn env sim eng.

I'll see you next month.

dtl

August 2020 News

Writing

Edits are going smoothly for Ausgan. Not the quickest but they're moving so I can't complain. Last month the word count of editing notes was around 13,750. Through consideration and application of changes, that's down to around 8,000. 

It's weird to edit two books before submitting either one, but the nature of the story is such that I have to. It's this or splice the two books into one and I'm not even leaning toward that, however much the idea lingers as a possibility. It will take some convincing beta readers for that idea to gain traction. Until then I'm staying unconventional: Release the first two books simultaneously then release the finale within the year. You can read the first two in either order.

Building

I mentioned the zipline last month. It's near completion but the steep angle of descent has demanded that I either A. Grade the entire front yard or B. Construct a braking system. I'm working on brakes. 

Playing

I'm not playing much these days, despite Steam sales tempting me at every corner. Sometimes I feel like I'm chasing some fleeting emotion that certain games have given me at certain points in my life. Rather than taking that endeavor as a consequence of age or priority or mark it as hopeless, I will resort to making said game when the opportunity presents itself. 

Music

I discovered Marc Rebillet and have listened to a ridiculous amount of his streams. On the surface, he's a fairly plain looking fellow who makes beats and songs on the fly then freestyles and sings over them. Trademarks of his include wild gyration, near-nakedness, and profuse swearing. While those factors are entertaining, they're not what keep me enrapt.

He has mastered looping to create music, and can devise pseudo-environments on the spot (not limited to "crowded restaurant"). He can carry a tune like Marvin Gaye and shred on the organ like his balls are on fire. He inspires me to get back into music making. Discipline (and a glaring lack of satisfactory instruments/VSTs) keeps me from falling down that rabbit hole just yet. I have books to finish and Schala to build.

Schala

On that, I've made some headway without really trying. While I'm talking to myself outside in the dark, I sometimes inquire about this project, to prepare for someone eventually inquiring about this project. This proves to be a good method of polishing the pitch. And if you can figure out how to accurately sum up a complicated project in a matter of words then you can reverse engineer it. Ask broad questions. Answer them. Ask more detailed questions. Answer them. Break the dream into bits. 

Reading

The Shadow Saint, Gareth Hanrahan 

I'm garbage at reviews but here goes. I give this book 5/5 stars. The most unique feature of this and the Gutter Prayer is the setting - the city of Guerdon. It's dripping with personality and lore. The beasts and beings and gods are a close second as far as appeal, and they spawn directly from the setting itself. All of the creatures-Stonemen, Tallowmen, Ghouls, Saints, Vigilants, Alchemists, Gods, etc-are well thought out, frightening, and powerful. I recommend.

Next Month

Will see me finished with book edits? Maybe. 

see you then

dtl

July 2020 News

Happy Summer to you. 

Today's mood = Muted. There's lots to do. No room for frivolity. Not here anyway. Not today.

Watching

Wife and I have now consumed 2+ seasons of Alone and it's been occupying a good bit of my brain cycles, as the robots say. If you're unfamiliar, it's a reality show wherein they abandon 10 individuals in the woods and see who can stay isolated the longest. You get pulled if you begin to starve or tap out. 

At present, although I've managed to enjoy all I've seen, I can only recommend season 6 which is on Netflix. The previous seasons are victims of all those cable TV tropes from a (hopefully) dead/dying era. 

[tangent - Of those cable TV sins, my biggest pet peeve = obtrusive commercial breaks sandwiched on either side by massive time-wasting chunks of STAY TUNED FOR THIS! and LOOK WHAT JUST HAPPENED! clips. As if I might change the channel or recently did. Cut that out. It's not a thing anymore.]

But season 6 only does this minimally, if at all. Obviously there are no actual commercials and the show at large manages to seamlessly portray the highly edited escapades of these ill-fated survivors. I won't ramble too long on the inspiration this show incites, but it's largely related to project Schala.

Reading

I've been fairly disappointed with the last several books I've picked up. So I went back to Kings of Paradise for a reminder on how good a book can be. I love this book. Humor, tragedy, intensity, interesting world, one character with a crazy interesting super power (perfect memory) and another who can astral project. If I haven't recommended this book lately, I'm recommending it now. Fair warning - adult content: cursing and cannibalism. 

Building

By the time I air this, it SHOULD be alive so here's the big secret: I'm building a zipline in the front yard. Maybe someday I'll throw some pics up here and give details on the projects I get into. Probably not. If I have time for that, I need to be writing. Find me on Instagram or FB. I put pictures there. 

Writing

I've compiled ALL notes for editing Fohrvylda (Irdessa's story) and they number around 13,7500 words. A good bit of that will get trashed. Some is very old and will refer to things that no longer exist in the story. But that leaves still a ton of notes that do need consideration. My work is cut out for me. Good thing is, editing is easier than drafting. Just grind, grind, grind. No inspiration or imagination needed for a lot of it. 

Next Month

Measure the progress. Plan for more.  

dtl

June 2020 News

Happy Summer time to you North Hemispherians. 

This will be less captivating than USA's news at this moment which includes, but is not limited to, public executions, riots, commercial space flight, and a pandemic. But if you're into gritty, character-focused fairy tales set in fantasy settings and flavored with despair and black humor, then you may be interested to know...

[let me interrupt myself to say, thank the wizard Felix Ortiz for the following concept images. I hired him for cover design and could not be happier with the results.]

Ausgan, the story of Basalt Kale's rise from Consonant monk into utter nihilist, is finished at ~115,000 words (about the size of HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban). I've sent it off to beta readers. 2020 release? Unlikely.

Next steps-

*Edit Fohrvylda, the story of Irdessa the Undying, who finds her own strength and uses it against her oppressors.

These edits will be smoother than Ausgan's for a couple reasons. 

1. I wrote Fohrvylda after Ausgan and was technically a more experienced writer (for whatever that's worth). 

2. I've developed a pretty solid editing routine that removes the need for creativity, thereby reducing the process to a grind. This is easier for me. No inspiration or even focus necessary, just time. 

On the other hand, it may take a little longer because Fohrvylda is 1.5 times the length of Ausgan (~160,000 words, or about the size of the Two Towers).

*Apply feedback from beta readers to Ausgan. This is assuming there is feedback and that it trickles back to me in a timely manner. If so, I'll examine said feedback, weigh its worth, then edit accordingly. 

*Reach out to publishers. I have a hybrid publishing model planned for this release. There are some jobs I've taken care of and some I need outsourced. More details on this to come.

Further off in the future- 

Once professional edits are underway for books 1&2, I'll draft book three. Let's call it Redemier for now. I'd LOVE for that draft to be near completion before books 1&2 drop but that's whatever. I'd also like if it releases within a year of books 1&2. Again, we'll see. 

Next writing project-

Jesus, calm down.

Next nonwriting project-

Small: Music compiliation video. "Three Hours of Chill Video Game Music to Read my Book to" is the title'nt.

Large: 

Schala!

May 2020 News

Happy May

I hope you're healthy and fortunate.

Writing

I'm touching up the final two scenes in Ausgan, which is book 1 or 2 of V&V. After these, edits will commence on Fohrvylda, which is book 2 or 1. May go ahead and reach out to the hybrid publisher I've been stalking. That is not a process I look forward to.
After that,

Smoll Project

Next project is a video to put on YouTube. It's a compilation of a bunch of zen-tasting video game music. There are about 50 songs I've laid out (~ 3 hours) it's just a matter of assembling them, adding some graphics (screenshots or title cards) and uploading. Video making isn't going to be a habit, I just wanna duet.
If this is a bizarre notion to you, check out the channel of my great friend Fruddle, who doesn't know I exist. Obviously a prerequisite is a general appreciation of chill instrumental music. Here's one of Fruddle's vids snatched at random - Relaxing Video Game Music (Vol. 6)
Listen and chill.

Big Project 

incoherent scribblings

Project Schala. I hate to get sidetracked from my existing work but I hate more to ignore inspiration's call, and by the gods that call is upon me. I'm chiseling at this nonstop already.
I mentioned Schala will be a dynamic environment simulator engine, but didn't really explain what that means. Probably not going to until there's proof of concept. The word "relational" deserves a place in that word cluster.
This may eventually require the help of a professional mathematician, biologist, ecologist, evolutionist, philosopher, and programmer to do it justice.

Else

What have I read, watched, played, etc? It honestly all runs together. Nothing stood out. I blame the lockdown we're all under, but I also blame said lockdown for my staggering levels of productivity these days. Us the fam crush projects while the sun shines (mostly outdoors) then melt into furniture and vegetate.

That said, everything's progressing. I hope it is for you, too. If it isn't, I hope you can endure until it is.

May all your setbacks result in opportunities.

dtl

April 2020 News

Ready for an April Fool's joke?
I'm not.

APRIL FOOLS!
I'm always ready for a joke.

Another month down without me resurrecting Silexare.com. The longer that fails to be a priority, the less likely it will happen soon.

Let's make like Grylls and get into it. 

Writing

I sometimes end up sitting amidst a pile of scene-guts without clear direction of what to use, what to toss, where to go. This is fixable, and honestly not even that hard a fix. I just need to be able to tap into creativity by CONCENTRATING. Therein lies the problem these days. My job has gone crazy, as I'm sure has yours. Stuff is just hella wack right now, as the youts would say.

(To my distant-future readers, we're in the throws of the COVID-19 pandemic and are enjoying a lockdown/quarantine/social distancing/you name it.)

- ~*~ Silver Lining ~*~ -

I've mentioned I hired Felix Ortiz as the cover artist for V&V. He did miraculous wonders that I can't wait to bestow upon you.
Well, he hit me up over the weekend to share a painting he's been working on related to the cover design work he did for me and by Hove did it elevate my spirits. I'm sharing an iteration of it with you, in the hopes that it brings you a fraction of the utter delight it brought me.

painting by Felix Ortiz

You know what? I'ma tell you a little about it and introduce a couple of characters. There's a lockdown in effect. Pain and suffering and boredom abound so why not? Please forgive any lack of polish. I'm not breaking my nuts over this, just trying to cheer up you.

V&V tells the story of Turesia's civil war, wherein the monks of Ausgan prepare to defend their tropical home against Fohrvylda's warriors, who seek to invade and lay waste.
(imagine the Danish raiders falling on Lindisfarne monastery but instead of finding monks in the position of the fetal, they meet chitin-clad martial artists, singing litanies of lightning)

Foreground Left - Basalt Kale, Ausgan 

He's an exemplar (Consonant monk) of the lowest order in Erudition, gifted in negation and very little else. He would use his abilities to help the higher-tiered mancers in their training, but an incident years back cost a fellow exemplar his life. Kale lost all trust and utility. This left him with idle hands and an unpredictable void cloud. Bad combination.

Foreground Right - Irdessa the Undying, Fohrvylda 
For the past two years she's been a prisoner of Promontory, forced to fight in the arena Keswal, where she is a crowd-favorite. As brutal as her day to day may be, she will quickly come to miss it after she escapes into the badlands. Turns out surviving combat to the death is simpler than protecting her people from bloodthirsty birds and beasts and the immortal grudge of His Might, Vretos.

Background Left - Magus Kalderys, Ausgan 
The Consonant Fist. Intemrus' Judgment.
A baromancer able to reduce entire villages to ash with his Consonant song. He works tirelessly to defend the Holy City and fight back the cannibals of the Untamed. His only fear in life is that he is not on the beach to meet the Fohrvyldans when they arrive. He will serve them justice, and grant their remains to the wind.

Background Right - Captain Jeret of the Domestic Patrol, Forhvylda 

Jeret desires only to ascend the ranks of Promontory's military, as well he should. If anyone deserves the rank of Marshal and a seat at Vretos' Court, it is not that imbecile Zander. By the time Fohrvylda launches their fleet against Ausgan, he'll have earned a warship of his own, on the front wave of the assault, no matter who or what stands in his way.

Reading

SEVENEVES by Neil Stephenson

At this moment, 60% through it, I give it 3/5 stars. This story takes an amazing and horrifying concept (the moon breaks apart and falls on the world, ending all life) and analyzes it closely, realistically, scientifically, technically, numerically, statisticall.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I'm sorry. This 800 page monstrosity has been a lesson for me in my genre preferences, and you can keep Hard Scifi. I don't care the numerical values of the propulsion required to save a swarm of synchronized arklets from a bolide of X mass. Just show me how they dance in the blackness of infinity while sharing a single brain, why don't ya?
Holy s^&t this book had potential. And you know what? If Neil had exercised a modicum of style with the telling, I bet it would have been 5/5. But no. He wrote it with the exsanguinated prose of a doctoral thesis, as if future generations of scientists might rely on this actual document to save us all when the moon does fall apart.

EDIT: Ok. I'm at like 80-85% through it now and I'm starting to really see the payoff of the title and the story's theme. We're elevated to 4/5 stars, but it's not going to hit 5. Like I said, prose. That's my kink. That makes the journey worth the destination.

Lest it go without saying, I'm not ruined from Neil. I gave SNOW CRASH a preview and really digged the style therein. Not next or necessarily even soon, I'll give Mr. Stephenson an udder chance.

Playing

Peter wants me to play Halo online. 

Drew wants me to play Satisfactory.

Maybe I will do those things.

from Squenix, so you know it's freaking good

In the meantime, I've been playing Octopath Traveler, which is just delightful!

Watching

I miss it already

Kingdom s.2

I talked about season 1 on Silexare.com (which is dead right now). Season 2 is exactly as good, if not better. I love visual story telling brought to me by anyone besides that overworked and absolutely exhausted boom bang boobies factory, Hollywood. 

I suggest Kingdom for those who can stomach subtitles and who are curious to see a zombie story told WELL with strong characters and political intrigue in an era when blades are just starting to give ground to firearms. 

Next Month

I'll see you right here because I'm not reviving Silexare.com in April and anyway, NONE OF US ARE GOING ANYWHERE, SH'LONG AS THE ROROVIRUS IS ON THE RAMPAGE.

now go wash your social, don't touch your hands, exercise face distancing

dtl

Research Record - March 2020

Here's some light reading for your 'tine. Christ almighty this one's been weird. Lemme post this while it's still semi-relevant.

Obviously I fell down the Covid-19 wormhole, which entailed a lot of research and tangents and so bear with me while I try to keep this all halfway entertainformative.

Bushmeat - A term originated in Africa meaning essentially 'wild meat'. Can be pretty much any sorta beast you manage to kill and eat. Or at least eat. Yewei is pretty much the Chinese variety, and sold at wet markets. Oh, what's a wet market?

Wet Market - In the kindest terms, this is a market that specializes in perishable goods, particularly of the animal and produce variety (as opposed to a dry market). Famous among such markets was the

Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market - The largest wet market in Central China (540k sq ft) and the alleged birthplace of Covid-19. The problem with butchering some of the animals that fall into the category of bushmeat or yewei is that they are just spackled with disease. Animals traded and butchered in this market included

You might notice I used the past tense while referencing the market. That's because it's been shut down by health authorities to examine, disinfect, reinvent. (Although the govt-run news provider - Xinhua News Agency said at the time that it was being closed for renovations)
I've read multiple reports, some saying this closure is temporary, some suggesting it's permanent. Apparently as of February 14th China has banned the trade and consumption of wild meat across the country. This does not cover traditional Chinese medicine, but I call it quite the win considering we have wild animal butchering and tampering to blame for tuberculosis, leprosy, cholera, smallpox, measles, influenza, syphilis, HIV-1, AIDS, Ebola, Creutzfield-Jakob disease, monkeypox, T-lymphotropic virus, anthrax, and God only knows how many parasites.

On the other hand, I hate to see ancient traditions undone. Chinese cuisine is one of the oldest in the world, and is tied to their traditional medicine. The Manchu Han Imperial Feast is a notoriously grand meal that took place during the Qing Dynasty. It spanned three days and featured 108 dishes of every variety you can imagine and probably plenty you'd rather not. Surely the preparation of the dishes took place in a more sanitary environment than the middle of a meat market, but I'm sure some wet market shopping was necessary to accommodate such a gargantuan feast.

Part of me loves the idea of a wet market. For some people in the world, it's their only market. During mine and my wife's trip to the Dominican Republic we witnessed freshly butchered meat hanging on hooks on the front porch of what looked like residences. I admit some part of me wanted to buy a chunk and throw it on a fire with some local spices and see what I could come up with. Speaking of local spices,

History of Spices - I'm not entirely sure where my fascination with spices came from. But for those of you in the crowd who are new here, I'm a chronic world builder. Pretty much everything that inspires me at all gets transmuted to fit into Silexare. I love the idea of spices as a valuable commodity, as hard as it is for me to imagine. I can walk in the grocery store and snatch up cumin, thyme and oregano as if they're all just variations of salt. Only later in life am I learning how such spices got to Bilo, and why their names are so un-English.

It's just freakin interesting, okay?

Tangent achieved. I'm leaving you with this next one.

Sefirot - I'm not going to try to explain it because I don't understand. It's tied to Kabbalah, a school of thought in Jewish mysticism (apologies for what might come off as a derogatory descriptor).
Originally stumbled upon this concept because Sephiroth is one of my favorite villains of all time. But I return to it because of my fascination with its processes, particularly the second step - Chokhmah. It means (and I'm copying Wikipedia's definition) the first unbounded flash of an idea before it takes on limitations. When I'm struck by inspiration, I prefer to linger in this phase as long as I can, before the box of reality inevitably closes in.

Chokhmah is relevant right now because I've finally had a break through on a project/challenge I've been dwelling on for several years. This project is my next large one, and will commence in earnest after the V&V trilogy, after making a YouTube chill VG song compilation, but before writing another book/series or building a video game I have in mind.
For fear of revealing too much, this will be an interactive environment simulator engine. Let's call it project InEnSiEn. No. That sucks. How about Schala.

There is a story of a pack of wolves being reintroduced into Yellowstone National Park in 1995 and the trophic cascade that followed. That story is directly related to this project, and is a big part of the inciting inspiration. I didn't scour YouTube for the very best iteration of the tale, but here's a great one if you're interested.
YouTube - How Wolves Change Rivers.


See you guys next time

dtl

March 2020 News

I'm getting more comfortable with the possibility of not reviving Silexare.com. I was never too uncomfortable with that possibility, so this doesn't fare well for the site and my 5+ years worth of news posts and reviews of games, movies, music. It had sorta become just another thing to keep up with. Kind of like my Facebook Author page vs my Facebook Not Author page. I want to murder one of those. Two seems useless. Maybe that will be a side quest of mine this month. Probably not.

Also, I've noticed a trend. If the 1st is on a weekend, then you're getting the News on the 2nd or 3rd. Maintenance such as this is for weekdays, my goodman.


Writing
I'm on scene 28 of 31. Feels like climbing a vertical wall with no rope. I thought I was stuck on 25. Now I'm TURBO stuck. Actually... looking at my previous posts, I was stuck on 25 for at least three weeks. That's not the case with 28. I feel kinda better now. This is one of those scenes where the villain goes Muah ha ha and breaks down his vile plan right before the hero stops him. Except the hero isn't stopping him.

EDIT: Scratch all that. I finished scene 28. Powered through and now I'm happy again. Set optimism to fleeting.


Playing

Have I ever told you about Hollow Knight? No? This is up there with Bloodborne and Last of Us as one of my favorite games to come out in the last ten or twenty years. I'm playing through it a second time after setting it down for about a year. It is exactly as good as before. Maybe even better, since the dexterity already exists and less grinding is required to git gud. But Traitor Mantis is spanking me like a step child...

ALSO HOLY CRAB I JUST GOT A NOTIFICATION: Final Fantasy VII Remake demo dropped this morning! Downloading today. Playing tonight.


Reading

BLACKWING by Ed McDonald
4.5/5
I'd heard so many good things about this book, and it did not disappoint. Galharrow is a gritty, jaded mercenary-type and his voice is hilariously sarcastic and cutting. Very fun to read. The world and the magic systems are awesome. For me the pacing sorta shook a little toward the end. Still, highly recommended.

16 WAYS TO DEFEND A WALLED CITY by KJ Parker
5/5
Another gritty, jaded hero! This book scratched an itch I wasn't aware of. Engineer-fantasy is what I'd label this and it comes with piles of sarcasm and a good supply of  the 'nuts and bolts' of fortress siege and siege defense. I recommend.


Next Month
I'm not even going to pretend I'll be done editing this book. I'll never be done!

See you then

dtl

Editing: Establish motives or the character won't matter!

I've been stuck editing chapter 25 for weeks. Frustration has been mounting. I couldn't figure out why this is so hard considering I crushed 21-24 since the beginning of the year!

Well I finally figured it out, and maybe by sacrificing my own sweat and tears I can save you some. I know you love hoarding sweat and tears. Weirdo.

~

Scene 25 was destined to be the lowest point for a couple characters, including the scene's point of view character. But while I was trying to wring emotion out of her and the other sufferer, I kept not caring. I kept looking at her like, Quit your crying. No matter what combination of words I strung together to convey "She was sad," it just never convinced me. But why?! She's proactive, cunning, skilled. She's ambitious and does heinous things to succeed.

Obviously this is a problem. If I don't care, then the reader definitely won't. My inner troubleshooter went to work.

Reasons you might not care about a person over there crying
*They're an asshole
~this answer disqualifies itself. If they're an asshole, you DO care about their pain. You relish it. You want more of it.~

*Just general apathy
~the homeless guy you passed in your car. You pass, he's gone. You'd like to care but now you can't even remember a single detail about him. This isn't the case for this character. She's integral to the story and constant throughout.~

*You don't know them
~Wait so if I understood her better, I'd care more about her pain? Hmmm. Feels applicable to life. I think we've struck gold.~


Her personal stakes seemed obvious in the outline and so I expected them to shine through via her actions and reactions. I'd written her with that in mind, never actually "telling" the details of her grand scheme. I reasoned,
-I don't want to spoil things for the reader. 
-There are things happening that even she doesn't know about. Things very close to her. So I'll keep stuff vague. 
-The reader will be intrigued by not knowing what dark secret she's up to.

No. No. No.

-It's not a spoiler to reveal her plan. It's not hand-holding or a waste of words. It's not "telling" vs. "showing." Her plan does NOT work out as she intended. How disappointed would readers be to learn not only that her dark secret isn't coming to fruition, it's never even revealed!
-Keep stuff vague to her that is ACTUALLY vague to her. Of course she knows what she wants, or else she's ineffective and a bad character.
-Readers aren't intrigued by characters with misty motives. They're indifferent, as was I.


THE PROBLEM
I wrote her scenes always just assuming her motive, never ironing out the details of it. At best I'd write a note - "Make sure you establish this aspect of her character in a previous scene". And so when payoff came, her grief did not matter.


THE FIX
I needed to establish in concise language her Conditions For Success. There are four. I wrote them out. Each is simple and straight forward. After that I went through her POV scenes in order (there were six previous scenes to touch), and mentioned each of those points in every scene, progressing them, regressing them, whatever, at the very least bringing them up.

When I made it back to scene 25, it wasn't just easy to fix but enjoyable. This scene isn't just the low point for her and another character. It is integral for several characters, for their arcs, and a crucial turning point for the story at large.

This has become one of my favorite scenes, and there's not a damn drop of blood in it. Always weird when that happens.

Reviving Regarding...

I'd love to visit this blog more often. I miss talking to folks and expressing myself here. As I hinted at in the last post, I haven't been around because kicking it here isn't vital to finishing the book, and the book is priority #1. I also mentioned having zero interest in reviving Silexare.com at this moment. I'll have to aim that url here in the meantime...

That said, this blog needs some major comment control. 

I showed Regarding Silexare some love the other day (Not sexual, you freak! It's a blog, not a folded up pillow with a silky pillowcase. What's wrong with you). 

Anyway, I was making love to my blog the other day and all of a sudde-BOOM! Comments galore,  all over my face, each one no more authentic than Donald's skin tone.

look at all that love. It's disgusting.

So I'm re-enacting Captcha or some such prophylactic. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. If this makes it impossible for you to comment here, you can still catch me on one of the social media websites where I waste my time. 

I'll see you 'round. 

dtl

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Twitter - DavidTList
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Facebook - Silexare

February 2020 News aka Still Smashing Edits

Hey guys

Been a while, I know. That's because this blog doesn't presently serve any practical purpose. I don't have time to conversate here so it's sorta in a purgatorial state, like space dust just hovering and awaiting the press of gravity to squeeze it down into a fat juicy orang-HEY! One day is upon us!

~

I ran updates on plug-ins for http://Silexare.com/ and managed to break it.

see?
No, Edge is not my preferred browser.

Since I have as much interest in web dev as I do in studying the Ptolemaic system (which is freaking RIGHT by the way) the illustrious Regarding Silexare will take center-stage and present this month's news. On that note, don't click half of the links up there. They're broken, too lol. 

Until right now, I believe I've only missed one monthly news posting since 2015. Maybe 2013. This includes the months after my daughter died. But am I reeling after Silexare.com's untimely misstep? Not even kind of. I was sick of it. It had become increasingly clunky and had terminal issues not limited to the Modelovirus which is killing the sobriety of hundreds of hundreds, even as we habla. 

If nothing more, it served as time capsule for my personal comings and goings, but in the grand scheme even that didn't amount to much. I'll see about reviving it eventually.

WRITING

My last post here was in July of 2019 and it mentioned I was beginning to puzzle out the editing process. I'm deep in it now and almost done with book 1-or-2 of 2. I'm on scene 25 of 31. January has been quite productive for edits. After I finish editing book 1-or-2, I'm either sending it to a beta fish reader or jumping ahead and pitching to my target hybrid publisher. I'll simultaneously start edits on book 2-or-1 (also of 2). 

I toyed with the idea of giving you specifics on the scene I'm working on but I chose not to. If you're interested, by all means hit me up in the comments. You might convince me to expound on it in a future post. I'm just becoming more conscious of my time. There is too much ground to cover for me to spend it doing anything besides progressing directly forward. 

But David, you're here writing this.

Eat a spotted dick. 

READING

I just finished DARK AGE, by Pierce Brown. It's taken me two months, and not just because it's a thousand pages long. I have mixed feelings. First of all, holy hell. The whole story is on an EPIC scale. It takes itself exactly as seriously as Red Rising. 5/5 stars on complexity and world-building alone. I never would have thought while reading Red Rising that this story would become so in depth.  So broad. So convoluted. 

There are one frdxillion characters and families and bloodlines and races and traditions and weapons and cities and planets and systems and armies and names and names and names. Throughout reading Dark Age I topped out at 80% comprehension of what was going on. I went back and read a good bit of the book twice and still was never fully confident I knew who was what or where or why. It's been less than a year since I read the previous novel, IRON GOLD. I should not have been this lost. 

Oh that's normal, I was lost too hahaha! Hail Reaper!

Sure, except certain massive plot points including the last paragraph of the book lost all punch, leaving me looking much like 

"... cool?"

Even with that said, it's a 5/5 book. There are deep thoughts and quotes throughout. The absolute coolest scifi fights and battles and wars ever. Prose is relentless, clever, and concise. I was inspired throughout and embarrassed by the pitiful stakes of my own stupid idiot book for morons. 

Thanks Pierce.

WATCHING

How about another joke, Murray?

(This gets spoilery)

I finally watched this a couple weeks ago. When it was over I watched it again. The next day I watched it again. I probably watched it yet again after that. I could honestly turn it on and watch it again right now. 

What about it drew me in so much? Yes, I like the character of Joker. Maybe more than any other DC character. Maybe even more than any Marvel character, too. But this is no action-packed superhero/villain flick. It's a depressing downward-spiral documentary close-up character piece of a mentally unstable grown man who losses all support, abandons his meds, and experiences the final tragic events that tip him over the edge of insanity, wherein he becomes a fully unapologetic sociopathic murderer, utterly disconnected from societal expectations or concern for consequences. The protagonist of the film becomes an "active shooter." 

I can never truly know what this film did for or against that tragic trend. Maybe nothing. But I choose to believe that maybe a person heading down a similar violent path will experience a showing of Joker, catch a bit of Joaquin's depiction of the deranged Arthur Fleck, and then maybe, instead of arming themselves with the tools to murder innocent masses, they'll say, "Wait. I'm not alone?" 

And then, just maybe, they'll choose to do something else.

NEXT MONTH

Maybe I'll have revived Silexare.com. Maybe not. I hope I'll have finished editing book 1-or-2 because there is a lot to do.

dtl

Gosh, usually i just go like [signoff] and Silexare.com would make a thing talking about where to find me elsewhere online. Sorry. Figure it oot.